He disabled his match.com account in front of me
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
