If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
