I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I smell stomach acid.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
