My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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