help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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