I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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