thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
