i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize