I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
