You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
