have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize