Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
