So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize