she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My vagina just clenched in fear
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
