How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
