Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
