lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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