when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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