O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Randomize
