ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
