some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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