Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
