trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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