I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
