sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
