i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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