Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
