I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We need to get me chipped asap
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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