She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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