God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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