my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize