she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
