To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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