You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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