Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
