But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i want to swaddle you in tequila
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
