Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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