Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
