So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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