Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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