ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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