we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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