i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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