what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
