My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
there is glitter all over my balls
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
