Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
