I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
