OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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