I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
