at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Couch. On fire.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
