He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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