my mouth tastes like poor choices
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
