you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
