I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
