I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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