I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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