Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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