Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
