I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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