We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
