i permit you to call me
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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