You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
false alarm, still single
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
