i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
