In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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